Pebble

There was a pebble at the top of the stairs. I don’t know how it got there, so I kicked it to return it to the ground where I thought it supposed to belong. I watched it as it rolled, tumbled, bounced, going down easily. It spun; it flipped; it jerked. My eyes followed its effortless motion: down, down, down.

A knot at the pit of my stomach tightened, overwhelming all my other senses, both numbing and sensitizing. I blinked, and then an intense pain enveloped my body. My face became merely inches away from the pebble, just as easily.

Homesick, maybe

It’s enrollment week at university and I’m back living in the dorms. One night in and, surprisingly, I already feel homesick.

I have been living separately from my family since high school and this angst rarely gets me. This morning is rather odd because, honestly, I only miss home a few weeks in the semester or when vacation’s coming up.

I realized this homesickness when I was in the shower. I start my day with a bath, but it was a cold morning so I wanted to get one quickly. I got in the stall, turned on the shower and, lo and behold, freaking freezing cold water sprayed at me. I could hear my teeth clatter and feel my legs shiver. However, I had no choice. I gritted my teeth and bathed hastily. In the middle of it all, a feeling of longing took over. I missed our heater at home, where I could get warm water and take my bath in peace.

After bathing, I had to go out and buy breakfast. I realized, again, just how I missed home, where warm meals are ready on the dining table when you have to eat. Or where you could cook up something you like.

At the end of the day, I had free time after I finished enrolling. I wanted to kill time online, but I had to leave the comfort of my room to get connected to wi-fi in the lobby. And then I started missing home again, where I can get wi-fi pretty much anywhere and my device connects automatically without the need for proxy settings.

I don’t know if I actually am homesick, but I am sure I do miss home.

Also, when will the cold days be over? Cold baths are a pain.

Still cringing

I want to tell a story a priest once shared over homily.

There was once a married couple who lived a happy and contented life. Every day, the couple would bet in the sweepstakes using only one number combination. They stayed faithful to their numbers. Every day, the husband would bet on the numbers after work before going home. On times when he would go out of town for business trips, the wife would make it a point to bet their number combinations. Like clockwork, the couple would bet that one number combination without fail even when they have not won since they started.

Pride Week: Open Minds. Open Hearts.

Continuing with rainbows, this week is apparently UP Pride week. Huzzah for equality!

Grabbed from UP Babaylan

This poster has been making its rounds in different social media, so I thought I might as well share it on my site.

UP Pride 2014 activities start today and I'm happy that my class is close to the venue. I can attend! I'm looking forward to Friday's Pride March, too.

It's great that UP Babaylan and many other organizations go to such great lengths to help support, promote and celebrate LGBTQA awareness. I'm all in in keeping an open mind as well as an open heart. How about you?


Edit: It's sort of timely that Emma Watson, UN Women Goodwill Ambassador, gave a speech on feminism for the HeForShe 2014 campaign. More cheers for equality!

Rainbows and Cheers

With this year's UAAP Cheerdance Competition scheduled on Sunday, the College of Human Kinetics hosted this year's Pep Rally last night. As usual, our very own UP Pep Squad performed their complete cheerdance routine and their group stunts number. Twice.

Grabbed from UP Pep Squad

I confessed to you...

And then I kissed you on your right cheek. Surprised, you faced me with questioning eyes. I smiled – the one that I thought was awkward but you said it was lovely anyway. Your expression changed– a mix of anguish and guilt – as you saw my eyes fill with tears. "You can’t do anything about it anymore," I whispered as I caressed your face. I have already stabbed you seven times – your lucky number you said. I even found out that your blood in my hands feels warmer than you can ever be – than you will ever be. As your eyes went blank and your hand felt limp, I learned to be free.

Forward this message

Hey!

It’s been a while. How have you been? Gotten yourself busy, huh?

Actually, it’s been ages since we last talked. You haven’t even replied to any of my messages. I’ve gotten anxious about you. But, hey, you have been posting status updates in your favorite networking site, so I shouldn’t worry, right?

Sex Talk

The article "Let's Talk About Sex or Something Like It" by Ms Kat Alano has been making its rounds across the social networking sites since yesterday (to my knowledge).

To Ms Alano, thank you so much for putting these thoughts together. Sex is really a sensitive topic in our society, but not talking about it will make matters worse in many ways (and this is not exclusively regarding to "sex").

Please, please do read the article. Are you up for the challenge of change?

This blog is in mourning

I put on a random layout temporarily on my blog as I try to make a better one (with the help my friend). The final product turned out to be aggressively dark. Look at all the black!

Anyway, new layout will be up soon (I hope). Let's just mourn with this blog for the time being.

Sinking Feeling

There was a ringing in my ear. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, the high-pitched buzz went on. I covered my ears with my hands, but it did nothing to help.  My eyes shut close, brimming with tears that I couldn’t hold back. Somehow, I was on the floor, twisting and turning, mouthing the words “Make it stop.” I couldn’t hear myself, though I felt my throat getting hoarse.

There was a lump in my throat, sprouted unnoticed but grew until it hindered my airway. I gasped for breath. My heart raced from pain and panic. My body stopped squirming, but my hands touched my ears then my throat. I was frantic, not knowing what to do anymore. As a last resort, my eyes flew wide open, hoping to get a glimpse of the world for the last time. Nobody was around. I was in an unfurnished room all by myself. Only the light bulb on the ceiling was my audience.

“So this is how I die, huh?” I humored myself despite it all. Must have been the lack of oxygen in my brain. This would have been my last thought.