I confessed to you...

And then I kissed you on your right cheek. Surprised, you faced me with questioning eyes. I smiled – the one that I thought was awkward but you said it was lovely anyway. Your expression changed– a mix of anguish and guilt – as you saw my eyes fill with tears. "You can’t do anything about it anymore," I whispered as I caressed your face. I have already stabbed you seven times – your lucky number you said. I even found out that your blood in my hands feels warmer than you can ever be – than you will ever be. As your eyes went blank and your hand felt limp, I learned to be free.

Forward this message

Hey!

It’s been a while. How have you been? Gotten yourself busy, huh?

Actually, it’s been ages since we last talked. You haven’t even replied to any of my messages. I’ve gotten anxious about you. But, hey, you have been posting status updates in your favorite networking site, so I shouldn’t worry, right?

Sex Talk

The article "Let's Talk About Sex or Something Like It" by Ms Kat Alano has been making its rounds across the social networking sites since yesterday (to my knowledge).

To Ms Alano, thank you so much for putting these thoughts together. Sex is really a sensitive topic in our society, but not talking about it will make matters worse in many ways (and this is not exclusively regarding to "sex").

Please, please do read the article. Are you up for the challenge of change?

This blog is in mourning

I put on a random layout temporarily on my blog as I try to make a better one (with the help my friend). The final product turned out to be aggressively dark. Look at all the black!

Anyway, new layout will be up soon (I hope). Let's just mourn with this blog for the time being.

Sinking Feeling

There was a ringing in my ear. No matter how hard I tried to stop it, the high-pitched buzz went on. I covered my ears with my hands, but it did nothing to help.  My eyes shut close, brimming with tears that I couldn’t hold back. Somehow, I was on the floor, twisting and turning, mouthing the words “Make it stop.” I couldn’t hear myself, though I felt my throat getting hoarse.

There was a lump in my throat, sprouted unnoticed but grew until it hindered my airway. I gasped for breath. My heart raced from pain and panic. My body stopped squirming, but my hands touched my ears then my throat. I was frantic, not knowing what to do anymore. As a last resort, my eyes flew wide open, hoping to get a glimpse of the world for the last time. Nobody was around. I was in an unfurnished room all by myself. Only the light bulb on the ceiling was my audience.

“So this is how I die, huh?” I humored myself despite it all. Must have been the lack of oxygen in my brain. This would have been my last thought.

I think I got my motivation back

Just before he sang "Bitiw", Yael of Spongecola thanked UP for being such a wonderful audience yearly during UP Fair and praised it for having the cream of the crop populate its student body. He was rooting for us, Iskolars., and I'm really grateful for it. It wasn't their songs that tugged at my heartstrings in particular; the little anecdote he shared to us about a conversation between him and his mother did.

Mom: Anak, galingan mo ha? [Son, do your best, ok?]
Yael: Oo naman! [Of course!]

So I watched TV

I bummed on the couch in front of the TV after dinner. Juan dela Cruz was on. They were already having a countdown to its finale: five days left. About time, I thought because I wasn't really a fan.

Tonight’s episode was, I believe, the turning point of the whole series – the major battle between the forces of good and evil. As the pawns of the evil side started moving through the dramatic fog, the good guys all get tensed up, until the lead man, Juan dela Cruz himself, yelled “CHARGE!”

Gaiman's effect

Reading The Ocean At the End Of the Lane reminded me of the reason a started devouring and loving books. There is this special privilege given to people who, book in hand, get transported to another dimension, another reality while safely curled up in bed. I especially love Neil Gaiman for bringing me to the realms of dreams and nightmares with just a turn of the page.

Four Sisters and A Wedding: Not Just Comedy

Four Sisters and A Wedding was unexpected. Although I was told beforehand that the movie was “dramedy” (mix of drama and comedy), I thought it would portray the family on a light note, cracking jokes and witty comments in every scene, like with any Filipino feature film. Boy, was I partially wrong.

I said “partially” because the witticisms are still intact but the story about the family dynamics and the relationship among siblings brought the heart-warming, tear-jerking and effective drama into the screens; it drove me, and the rest of the cinema audience for that matter, into tears. As I am writing, my eyes still burn from crying for half of the movie.

So what’s with the drama, really?

This semester's anthem

Imagine Dragons's Radioactive

Not just Radioactive, but the rest of the songs in the Night Visions album. I have enjoyed, and am still enjoying, Imagine Dragons's music for three weeks now.

Among the songs, though, Radioactive struck me the most. Probably because of my bias towards the chemistry-related title (chemistry major here!). But I think it was Dan Reynolds's breathing in the first part of the song that hooked me to Radioactive. It was so intense. I felt the exhaustion and exasperation. I may not be experiencing stress right now will make me exhale so bad like Dan Reynolds, but it will come. After all, school just started.

The music video is a different story. Here's one more reason to love Imagine Dragons.