Goodbye, Summer

It's as if my heart is being squeezed like a stress-relieving ball and I don't think I'll get over this feeling soon.

It's past my bedtime already, I know, but I'm trying to prolong my stay here at home. At least my hours awake, that is. I still have some time to rest later since my flight is still tonight.

I have been packing my clothes and stuff in my suitcase for hours. Half the time, though, I wasn't even packing. I was just sitting on my bed with a lump in my throat that just can't go away. Up until now, I can't lock my suitcase yet.



Imagining, in the silence, my days back in campus was disheartening: trapped in a dorm without knowing anyone, weaving my way through college with strangers I call school-mates, sleepless nights trying to cram all chapters in my head for an exam the next day, homesickness... I shiver alone, scared after pondering of whatever lies ahead. I always have been afraid of not knowing.

My things will be prepared for the trip some time soon, but am I ready to leave? Am I ready to go back to the reality of college life?

I'm not entirely sure that I am. Actually, I'm not sure of anything anymore, except that I will miss my family for the next four and a half months.

As my family sleeps in the other room and I try to finish packing quietly, I bid summer vacation farewell. Until next time, if there is any.